Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Conspiracy Theory Wednesday

I have come to realize that the people behind NaNoWriMo allegedly do not like Thanksgiving and/or Christmas!

WTH???

I mean, seriously, why in the heck schedule NaNoWriMo in November . . . one of the most hectic months of the year for most people. Have the people behind NaNoWriMo ever hosted a Thanksgiving dinner? Do they not realize the many, many, many trips to the grocery store because you forget 12 important items on your 40 page grocery list? Do they not realize that the toilets do not scrub themselves? Nor does the glass shower clean itself? Oh, and do they not realize that November is dust breeding month? What, you've never heard of dust breeding month? Well, it's the one month in the year that the dust parties down and creates more and more dust, which you have to stay on top of or else, your mother will glance down at the glass table, wrinkle her nose, and then give you the look that says, haven't you learned anything, anything at all from my obsessive cleaning habits throughout the years? Oh, yes, Mom has been known to give me that look on quite a few occasions.

I guess the mothers of the people behind NaNo never gave their children such a look. I'm just saying . . .

Oh, now, back to my conspiracy theory . . .

Do the people behind NaNo not realize how much time is spent figuring out a menu, preparing all the stuff, and planning for any uninvited guests? There is not time to write during Thanksgiving week. Heck, there is barely time to think.

And what about the official put the Christmas tree up the day after Thanksgiving thingy?? I mean, it takes me days and days to decorate the house. Putting up the tree is an event. Christmas music blares throughout the house. I pull the tree out of the attic, put it up, fluff the branches - this takes forever, people, f-o-r-e-v-e-r! Then, before I can even put the first ornament on the tree, I must wait a day to make sure all the fluffing is done. Did I mention f-o-r-e-v-e-r??? Then, I begin the slow process of putting the ornaments up, studying the tree, moving an ornament here, there, and everywhere. The casual, but actually planned, movement of ornaments can go on for a week . . . or two. Then, there are the rest of the decorations to place through the house . . . which pretty well eats up the time between Thanksgiving Day and the end of the month.

So, how in the heck am I supposed to find time to pound out 50,000 words in 30 days time when Thanksgiving happens in the same month . . . every year?

Couldn't the people behind NaNo have picked a different month? What about January? I mean JaNoWriMo has a good ring to it?? Seriously, it's after the holidays, peoples lives have settled down, winter has settled in, and it would make a perfect time for writing.

So, who else thinks NaNo is a conspiracy???

Okay, seriously, I don't think it's a conspiracy. I'm just in a completely snarky mood and wanted to throw this out there for all the people struggling with NaNo and trying to figure out how the heck they're going to prepare the Thanksgiving feast when they still have 25,000 words to write and less than a week to finish them? I'm just saying . . .

10 comments:

Michelle said...

Sorry, Scott, I'm on the other side of this one. I have so much else going on this month, including a family wedding out of town, that Thanksgiving is my buffer zone. Four days where I don't have to go to work, right at the end of the month when I'm most likely to be behind.

We're going to our friends' home for the holiday, and while we will bring a dish to share, it will only be one thing, not a whole meal.

I have one word for you: potluck!

Jennifer Shirk said...

Scott, I have something for you on my blog...

Tess said...

some of my exact thoughts.

why not a month like January when we are all too poor to go shopping, the weather is terrible, the kids are in school all month....

that would be far more reasonable. but, whoever came up with November for NaNo must have hated their family -- or been a recluse -- or, like your theory here, is sitting somewhere laughing maniacally at all the writers going crazy this month ;)

Robyn Campbell said...

UGH! You just reminded me of my list and the money it is going to take to do this.

ARGH! Did you say you pull the tree out of the attic? You have dirt up there in which things grow?

Christmas trees are LIVING. That's just how it is. Hmph!

Are you allergic or something? Because I've had people tell me, "I'd love to use a real one and then plant it after Christmas is over, but my allergies, you know."

HMPH! So to make up for this I'll just do a little free advertising.

Today at my blog we're talking about planning. Come on over now, you hear?:)

Anyway, I might be one of those mama's. I can picture it now.

Nah! I already sound enough like my mother which is totally freaking me out. :)

SJDuvall said...

Here here! I've written a total of 7 words this month. Seven....

Had a work trip, and am in the middle of moving. Oh yeah and trying to get grad school applications out.

Nanowriwhat? Never heard of it ;) Talk about feeling guilty about not even having a chance to win this year...

Amy Allgeyer Cook said...

Ha!!!! I never thought about that, Scott, but you're absolutely right! NaNo is Thanksgiving-prohibitive.

Say, can I get you to come over and fluff our tree too? I never can get it to look symmetrical.

Scott said...

Michelle - we do the potluck thing 9 times out of 10. Thanksgiving isn't one of those times, plus I love to cook. I'm out of town this year, which is one of the reasons I'm not doing NaNo. Luckily, it's at my sister's and I get to help cook, so I'll be in a happy place.

Jennifer - thanks so much for the award.

Tess - if you and I ran the world, everything would be just right. I'm just saying . . .

Robyn - who are you, and why do you keep advertising on my blog??? Ha! No, I'm not allergic, but the dogs like to do their 'business' on the real tree, and the cats like to climb. To maintain order, the tree is artifical, 9 1/2 feet tall, and decorated to perfection each year. As for our attic - it's a walk in attic, not a climb up the ladder attic, and the tree is protectively covered. Oh, and I think you sound just like your mother. : )

S.J. - travel's been a part of my month too, which is why I decided not to do NaNo. And, as long as you keep writing, I think you're a winner.

Amy - I think the fluffing process never ends. Every time I think I'm done, I see another spot. It's the same way with the ornaments. I've been known to move ornaments on Christmas morning as we're opening presents. It's sad, very, very sad.

S

ElanaJ said...

I'm totally with you! Although I can write more when I don't have to work, and Thanksgiving gives me three days off work...

Davin Malasarn said...

I agree with this completely. I think it's part of the grand test. Pick one of the worst months to do this so that you can prove to yourself that you really can write that much any time. At least that's my reasoning. It's tough love.

Anna C. Morrison said...

I heard that there is an alternate NaNo that occurs in June, but I don't have the website address, sorry!

As for toilets that don't clean themselves, I am far too aware of that. sigh