Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The Grasshopper

I took the boyz out last night and was sitting on the steps watching them run around the back yard. All of a sudden James comes prancing down the sidewalk. I look and he has something - have no clue what - in his mouth. I'm like drop it. He does. It's a ginormous grasshopper. G-I-N-O-R-M-O-U-S! Oh, and it's missing one leg. I'm like 'step away from the grasshopper'. Now, being the kind and generous soul I am, I'm thinking "I'm gonna have to touch that ginormous bug and toss it over the fence so James doesn't eat it." My second thought - "I don't want to touch that ginormous bug." So, brilliant me decides to pick it up by it's remaining back leg. POP. Yes, the leg pops off and now the totally back legless grasshopper is staring up at me with his beady little eyes going great, now look what you've done. Boy, who knew grasshoppers could glare. I finally pick the bug up and toss him over the fence. EEEEWWWW! Luckily for me, I remembered that grasshoppers back legs pop easily off to help them get away from prey . . . kind of like chameleons tails. So, his legs will grow back. Still, you should have seen the look that bug gave me.

Now, for those readers I haven't totally grossed out, the remaining ones are wondering where in the heck is Scott going with this post. Well, no where really. I just thought I'd share, in a descriptive way, a gross out moment from this past weekend with you.

Did he say descriptive? Why, yes, I did, dear readers, thanks for noticing. So, you see, this post wasn't just for gross out factor, there was a point.

Descriptive Passages play a major part in our writing. Those passages convey emotions, provide a sense of what a room looks and feels like, a sense of the atmosphere, the temperature outside, the crispness of the sky, the sound of popping leaves . . . and grasshopper legs for that matter. I swear - POP. Oh, those beady little eyes. That grasshopper was not a happy camper. Not at all. Not at all. I mean, there he was, minding his own business, and then this giant dog comes from out of nowhere and clamps down on it's back leg. The grasshopper laughs . . . and . . . POP. Silly, dog, don't you know my legs pop off so I can escape from my captors. CLAMP. Dear old James just picks the silly, gloating grasshopper up. He's so HAPPY. He prances down that walkway, so dang proud of himself until I say "drop it".

Well, you know what happens from that point. Big. Gross. Out. Momement. For. Me!

Do your descriptive passages convey . . . what you want them to convey? Can you hear the POP of the grasshopper's leg as it POPS off in my -eeeeewwww - hand. G-I-N-O-R-M-O-U-S! Can your readers feel the crispness of the air? Can the see the clarity of the deep, blue sky? Are they grossed out by the sound of the grasshopper's leg going POP? Do they have the same look on my face when I realized I was holding this G-I-N-O-R-M-O-U-S leg in my hand?

Okay, gotta go now. I've grossed myself out again.



ElanaJ said...

Okay, that is disgusting. I wouldn't have even picked it up. In fact, I probably would've crushed it with a brick. Sick!

Scott said...

So obviously my descriptive process is pretty good . . .

Crushed the poor little thing with a brick? Geesh! ; ) Lucky for me I found the poor critter, saved him from the jaws of certain death (and a brick if it happened in your neighborhood), even if he is now missing two back legs and can only crawl from place to place instead of leaping in great bounds, free as can be.