Sugar Doll

Now, I don't know whether to be amused, or horrified. I'm going with horrified first. I'm sure the amusement will come later, much, much, later, after a few dozen margaritas!!!

Jon Paul (aka JP, your highness, or highness) over at Where Sky Meets Ground has nominated me for an award. It's a most prestigious award that any mother would be proud to admit her son - as in male, as in masculine, as in not female - has received. Any. Mother.

So, without further adieu, I have been awarded the . . .

Okay, now that the majority of my followers have stopped hysterically laughing. Oh, and be warned, I know who is laughing, and I will . . . find the appropriate award for you. Trust me on that one! I'm the King of Paybacks.

As usual, the award comes with requirements - do this, do that, or the world as you know it will come to an end!!!! Geesh! Talk about pressure.

So, in order to avoid the apocalpyse, I'm supposed to tell you ten things about me.

1) I don't go by my first name, I go by my middle name.

2) I'm not telling you my first name.

3) When I was little, my mean, much older sisters used to roll me down the hill in the backyard. They found it quite amusing. I was quite tubby as a child. And they wonder why I'm in therapy. Okay, I'm not in therapy, but sitll, it's not a shining moment in an adults life to find out his older, and allegedly wiser (that question is still in debate, btw) sisters rolled him down the hill for their own amusement. They did a few other things, and took pictures as well, but to go there right now would require serious amounts of alcohol, and it is a bit earlier in the day . . .

4) In researching the family history, we discovered that, for 100 years, people were allowed to shoot us on sight. It seems my ancestors chose the wrong side of a political battle in Scotland, way back when. It's no wonder we came to America.

5) My mother . . . nope, might get disinheritated if I reveal that little tidbit of information.

6) I'm a horrible piano player, though I played for many years. H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E!

7) I love the movie Practical Magic with Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock. LOVE! IT! I can watch the movie over and over and over again . . . in the same day. In fact, when it first hit cable, I probably watched it 100 times. Great movie!

8) I watched the Brady Bunch and The Patridge Family on the Friday Night Lineup before they were reruns. Okay, not all seasons, well, maybe . . . SIGH!

9) I once hit size 35 in jeans before I realized my sisters might want to roll me down the hill again. So, I went on a diet and must fight - daily basis, no relief - to stay at my current size! What the heck happened to my metabolism? I mean, seriously, people. I used to be able to eat like crazy. Why do we have to gain weight as we age? Lose our hair? Grow hair out of our ears?? Why? Why? Sally Field moment from Steel Magnolias coming on . . . . whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Ah, now I feel better.

10) I don't drink margaritas every day of week. Those are reserved for Fridays!

Okay, now that I've delved into my inner psyche and divulged deep, dark secrets . . . I must award this on to five other guys. Heck, I'm not sure how many guys follow my blog. I must go check so I can award, but . . . the first award goes to (and he might hunt me down and kill me) . . .

Scott Bailey at ScottGFBailey

Justus Bowman over at Across the Multiverse.

Davin at The Literary Lab.

Rick Daley at My Daley Rant and The Public Query Slushpile.

Charlie at Approaching Utopia.

Now guys, don't blame the messenger. If fact, if you're looking for blame, I can track this all back to Jon Paul! I mean, he gave me the award in the first place, and rules are rules!

S