The Voice of my Inner Snark

So, I have a great voice. According to Suzan Harden (sorry, she doesn't have a blog, but she posted a comment here about version 2 of my query), I have a wonderful voice that blazes out of both queries. Who knew I could blaze? I mean, yeah, I've flamed out every now and then - you should have seen my yesterday morning when the mouse dashed across the counter at me at the office. Not pretty, not pretty at all. But blaze?? Whoa!

Some other comments . . .

Bane of Anubis (no blog) - you've got a fairly distinctive voice and writing style.

Laura Martone (no blog) - your snarky voice is evident.

Rick Daley (and here) - the voice makes this stand out above form or format. I think if I read 50 queries in a row, I would remember this one for the voice.

Beth - LOVE the voice - that's very hard to pull off in a query, and you've nailed it.

Now, I'm not doing this post to pat myself on the back for having a great voice that blazes. No, I'm doing this post to rant about the following: great, so I nailed the voice in my query and yet it still needs some tweaking, which is driving me frakkin' crazy. I mean, if I was a 70s TV commercial I'd be screamin Calgon take me away right about now. Geesh.

Yes, I feel a bit better now. Since I'm not a 70s TV commercial (I was barely old enough to watch TV in the 70s - that's my story, and I'm stickin' to it and don't believe a word Tess says about it, even if we are about the same age!), I just keep working on the query hoping to hit the right balance of voice and substance, rather than having too much style versus substance.

Here's my question: how much voice (btw check out Marybeth's post about voice on her blog yesterday) should go into the query?

Why the question? Well, in attempting to explain more about the conflict, some of the voice is lost. So, do agents need a query full of voice or just a paragraph of voice to go along with the gist of the conflict? Do I risk style over substance and maintain the voice totally throughout the query?

My problem - version 2, took out some of the voice to insert more about the conflict. Could I do that in a snarky tone? Hmmm, I think so, it might be a bit of a struggle, me not being so snarky and all that jazz! If I do that in a snarky tone does it take away from the overall manuscript since snark is a peripheral character within the manuscript?

Arrrrgghhhh! I'm going to the store now to find some Calgon. I'll be lounging in a bubble bath tonight with my bucket of margaritas close at hand!

S

Query

So, in a brave moment NOT induced by drinking too many margaritas, I posted my query for Margarita Nights on The Public Query Slushpile. Oh, yes I did!

Now that I've been publicly humiliated! Kidding. The experience has been really helpful. Still, I spent most of last evening reworking (to some extent) the brilliance of my query. I definitely - thanks to all the commenters (Robyn and Angie were two of them) - captured the Voice. Woo-hoo! The query just needs a tweak here or there to positively shine with brilliance! Right now, it's just glimmering brightly!

The frustrating part, at least for me, is trying to maintain the brilliance (thanks to Elana for helping me, and Lady Glamis) of the query. I don't want to add too much and somehow dim things down. Try as I might, at least last night, all my attempts to add have failed. So, I'm stepping away from the query!

Am I giving up? Heck no, people! I'm too dang stubborn to give up. I just need a breather - and a margarita, but that will have to wait until Friday! Hopefully before then, I'll finish my tweaking and repost the query on The Public Query Slushpile!

BTW - Hush, Hush by the Pussycat Dolls (yes, the Pussycat Dolls) is currently playing. I absolutely love the song - great beat, and they intermixed some of the gayest anthem of all time (I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor) into the song.

Have a great day!

S

Margarita Nights

Query Tracker has an excellent post about Building Your Platform – click on the hyperlink and ingest the knowledge – this morning. As normal, the blog posts get the brain cells doing their synapsy-thingy. My initial response: well, CRAP, something else I have to do! My okay, I’ve calmed down a bit response: hey, wait a minute, I’ve already considered some of these aspects. Whew! No reason to reach for the margaritas . . . yet!

So today’s post is all about MY platform. Yes, MY platform. This post is about the next great breakthrough novel . . . Margarita Nights. There, I wrote it, the secret is out . . . of the closet, so to speak! I wrote a book about margaritas (stop laughing, LitGirl01!!). Seriously, I didn’t, but they do play a part in the book, or rather the fact that the characters in the book meet for margaritas once a month.

So, that’s the first (well, second, since I already wrote the book and edited it ad nauseum) step of the platform process . . . at least for me. I’ve let the title of the book out of the closet.

What’s the second step? Well, since you asked so nicely (yes, I’m quite snarky this morning), I guess I could give you some (admittedly) biased reviews . . .

From one of my dearest friends (hard as nails sometimes, direct, to the point, no holds barred and not one to cushion a crushing blow, even for her dearest friends) . . . I have started the book. I am on vacation all next week and I am doing nothing but finishing this great read!! No phones, no family, no people, just me and my babies! I had no idea how well you can write. I am in love with each character! I know when some one writes well because I can actually visualize the setting, the people, all of it! And that is what you have accomplished. Do I see a little of you in Jared??? This is great and I can not wait to finish! (This was her response not long after I emailed her the book and wondered why I hadn’t heard from her).

Now, here is her response after she finally finished . . . Scott, I think your writing is great and the book was wonderful. From your comments, I think you are a tad hard on yourself. You write so well, so descriptive, and all the while I can feel what all the characters are feeling; humor, insecurity, loneliness, appreciation for what is gone; the hope of what is to come; and the meaningless relationships that ironically have meaning in the end. As far as hetero women enjoying....I can't think of one that wouldn't. And if they didn't, they probably wouldn't want to read any thing but self help books!!

Last, but not least, are some comments from someone I have never met. He works with my sister, has never met me, and was kind enough (since he’s one of my people) to take time out of his very busy life to read the book . . . Overall, liked it alot. It got better as it went along and very good concepts. I liked the style of writing and very realistic scenes. It ended up a nice fun read. Thanks for asking and please don't take the suggestions as critical. Love it that Scott is even writing this. Very admirable. Thanks again.

Oh, and just so somebody else doesn’t get his feelings hurt . . . I will put some of your comments up in another post.

That’s it for this post. The next step of the platform will be . . . I have no clue, but it will be something! Seriously, perhaps an introduction to the characters and some brief excerpts from the book every now and then as I, step by step, build the platform even as I go through the agony of querying! Perhaps some clever, and a bit snarky as well, agent might stumble across my blog and go . . . . hmmmmmmm!

S

Oh, and I know what some of you are thinking reviews from friends don't count! Well, you don't know my Suzi. As much as she worships the quicksand I walk upon, she's going to tell me the truth, harsh and brutal, no holds barred. If I'm having a bad hair day - she'll tell me. If I look like crap after a hard night of partying - she'll tell me. If the zipper on my pants is open - well, she'd probably not tell me because she get great amusement out of my embarrassment when I finally realized my fly was open! I'm just saying . . .

Venting

Is venting (i.e., bitching about something) no longer acceptable? Are we (yes, major generalization, get over it) not allowed to vent when we become frustrated? Are we supposed to just hold everything in and hope for the best?

In my opinion - hell, no! Venting is a part of life. It is the release of frustration, the ability to shout, stomp your feet, and then, in a major drama queen moment, fall back onto the couch and cuddle up with the cats, dogs, or whatever! If we cannot vent, then sooner or later, we will explode. It's a fact of life. Okay, maybe not a real fact of life, but holding everything in is not a good thing, not at all.

So, my 8 followers are wondering has he been paying homage to the Three Sisters this early in the morning? No. I've just been reading my way through the blogsphere and came across another post in defense of the query process and how people who are whining about it obviously don't love their job (i.e., writing). Okay, maybe the post didn't actually put it out there so boldly, but the underlying implication was easily seen.

I love to write. I hate the query process. I still query. I still agonize over every word in my query letter. I still love to write. I'm allowed to vent (i.e., bitch) when I get frustrated. Agents are allowed to vent when they get frustrated (i.e., writers bitching about the allegedly broken query system). It's all a part of life. Being frustrated does not equate (at least in my opinion) to not loving what you do. It equates (again in my opinion) to loving what you do so much that learning that a) some agents skip totally over the query letter and go straight to the submitted pages or b) if the query letter doesn't grab their attention they don't read the submitted pages or c) well, there's not another thing at the moment, amounts to a drama queen moment of whining about the unfairness of the cruel world of publishing.

In the end, the passion put into the whining is a de-stresser. I've posted about my frustrations with the query process. I haven't stopped querying. I haven't stopped writing. I follow blog after blog after blog, gleaning what bits of useful information I can glean so that, one day soon, my love of writing will be seen by the world at large.

So, excuse me if I bitch every now and then. Excuse me if I toss my tiara to the ground and kick it across the room. Excuse me if my frustration, every now and then, gets the better of me. I'm an artist after all. I happen to like my ears, so I'm not going to cut one of them off (Van Gogh, any one??) in a drama queen moment. In this Age of Technology, I'm going to blog about my frustration and hope that it doesn't bite me in the proverbial ass one day.

I suddenly feel so much better. I must get more coffee. The day is barely begun and I, suddenly, feel energized. I think it's the writing. Sometimes, the writing is better than . . .

S

Query Letters

Here's an interesting article about query letters and the fact that some agents just aren't reading them anymore. It seems that some agents are just skipping to the "please submit first five pages" part of the query. OMG!!!

First - I hate writing query letters.

Second - I seriously hate writing query letters.

Third - have I mentioned that I hate writing query letters?

Fourth - I write query letters because agents insist I write a query letter to sell my work. I must come up with a hook and an intriguing synopsis for my query letter.

Fifth - OMG, some agents aren't reading all the hard work - teeth gnashing, nail biting, hair pulling (trust me, my hair is receding fast enough as it is, I don't need to pull out clumps of hair while attempting to write the perfect query letter), and all the other angst associated with writing the perfect query letter - I put into the query letter.

So, it seems that with all the advice on the Internet, on all the different writing and agent blogs, all the books available at your local bookseller, the art of the query letter has reached the point where some agents are tired of the query letter and skipping to the good (or bad in some cases) stuff of the requested first five pages, first chapter, first 1,000 words, or first whatever. Why? Because the excellent query letter is a clever facade, giving a false impression of an excellent writer, for - sometimes - bad writing. Go figure!!

I mean, can you really sum up the brilliance of a 70+ thousand word work of fiction in one page? Can you truly synopsisize (I know, not a word, but I'm taking the personal liberty my English Comp teacher told me I could take with my writing) 70+ thousand words into a single paragraph? How is such brilliance (no, I did not add Bailey's to my coffee this morning) compressed into one page? And, if it is compressed into one page, and an agent skips over the brilliance of the one paragraph synopsis, then what was the point in the first place?

Is my frustration showing yet? If so, sorry. I'm just in one of those very snarky moods today. I know agents get tons and tons and tons of queries every single day. I know they have to plow through them all and, for those that do, send polite declines to the majority of the queries they receive. I know that query letters are supposed to set the proverbial stage for the agent. Wouldn't it be more simple to just request the first five pages of every manuscript and just forget the query letter, the hook and synopsis? I mean, if some agents are skipping the letter part anyhow . . . I'm just saying . . .

Synopsis & Query Letter Writing

Today I worked on the synopsis for the project for which I am in the middle of an agent search. First, I've already done the one paragraph synopsis necessary for the query letter. I just know that an agent will (notice the line of positive thinking here) want a more detailed synopsis. How in the heck am I supposed to convert 70+ thousand words into 2 - 3 pages? Will the torture never end?

Of course, it will. Sooner or later, even the most painful moments - writing a query letter rates in the Top Ten, full synopsis is right up there as well - come to an end. The broken heart eventually heals. The mosquito bite eventually quits itching. The multiple drafts of the query letter eventually coalesce into the query that will sell my project. Whoo-hoo! Sorry, I rambled off there for a bit.

I wrote the rough draft only of the detailed synopsis. It, like everything else, is a process. The query letter was a process. Thankfully, I had just stocked up on wine so I was able to survive the writing the query letter process. I mean, how do you actually convert 70+ words of brilliance into one paragraph? Okay, that was a little bit more than positive thinking. I'm allowed. This is my blog after all. If I don't have confidence in myself . . . no, it's not the wine talking. I know it's 4 PM somewhere, but not here. Drat, and double drat! Kidding. I'm a one glass per night wine drinker, and that glass normally takes me three hours . . . just in case anybody was wondering. What I am - in the most rambling way possible - trying to say, is that do not expect the perfect query letter or synopsis on the first try. I am not saying don't aim for that perfect query/synopsis on the first try, just don't be disappointed - as in my case - that the first of anything is just absolute drivel. Okay, mine wasn't absolute drivel, but it wasn't perfection either.

I think the key to anything is brevity and - even more important - the realization that the brilliance of your writing might not shine through in either your query or synopsis. A glimmer of that brilliance should shine through. Positive Thinking 101!!!! Write your query or synopsis and then let friends, family, complete strangers on the side of the road, read them. If they a) don't start laughing hysterically, b) don't give you the look, c) don't go running screaming into the night, or d) don't say anything at all, then you might have succeeded with an okay synopsis and/or query letter. Do not, whatever you do, immediately send it off to the agent of choice. Set it aside, give it a day or two - last time I checked, Armageddon wasn't right around the corner, but it might arrive on Election day - and then reread and rewrite if necessary. No matter what, make sure that the glimmer of brilliance is evident, and the tone of your writing is evident. Time waits for no (hu)man; but agents have Inboxes full of queries to read. One more day on your part might give that agent one more day to plow through the less than brilliant queries and get to yours. I'm just saying . . .

S

The Beginning

I began a new writing project today. The words flowed easily. Perhaps my Muse was perched delicately on my shoulder whispering into my ear. Perhaps the stars were in alignment. Whatever the reason - and trust me, I'm grateful - the words flowed easily and my fingers flew across the keyboard as I wrote the first section of my latest project.

Sometimes, the words come at a snail's pace. I hate those days. I sit in front of the computer, fingers poised over the keyboard, my brow furrowed, and my - often overworked - mind working furiously as I try to force my fingers to type coherent sentences that string together into paragraphs and chapters. Some days, nothing happens. Today was different.

Today inspired me to write create this blog. I'll update the blog as often as possible. Just don't expect everyday updates. I have a life, after all. I work, I have a partner and together we have three cats (Jordy, Tasmyn, and Squeaky) and two dogs (Jesse and James). I also have projects to work on, another blog to update on occasion, and now this one. So, you just never know when you'll see an update.

My plans for this blog are to chronicle the writing journey of this current project, plus just blog about other things - query letters, inspiration, the agent search, and tons of other wonderful stuff that have to do with writing. When I have good writing days, I might blog. When I have bad writing days, I might blog. You just never know when I will or will not post an entry. There might even be days - as with my other blog - when I post three blogs in the same day. Some days just provide that much information.

To that extent, in case you're still reading, let me talk about my new project. I've been tossing around ideas for a while, taking notes, creating (and changing) characters, and doing all the stuff I always do before I begin a project. Today, taking notes, etc., everything seemed to gel together. I have no idea why. It just happened. There are things I question in this life, and there are things I don't question. The gelling together of ideas is one of the things I don't question. I just go with the flow. It works. Why mess with something that works? Anyhow, I started to type and kept on typing through 5 pages. I was going with my instinct, which seemed right on target today. I also got the familiar chill - goosebumps, the good kind - while writing. I never argue with the goosebumps.

That's it for this post. Check back every now and then.

S